The student weekly of St. Olaf | Tuesday, September 2, 2014 | Subscribe
ISSUE 117 VOL 1 PUBLISHED 9/19/2003

Opinions

News succumbs to sensationalism; Private lives of athletes overpowers airwaves and print

On June 30, a 19-year-old female employee at an Edwards, Colo. resort accused basketball star Kobe Bryant of sexual assault. Bryant, a shooting guard for the NBA’s Los Angeles Lakers, claims that the sex was consensual. An Oct. 9 hearing will decide if there is enough evidence for the case to proceed to trial.

Subversion: The Bush agenda

How would you feel if you arrived back on the Hill two weeks ago to find that St. Olaf College was no longer a Lutheran liberal arts school? Let’s say the Board of Regents got together over the summer and decided the current programs at St. Olaf weren’t bringing in enough revenue from alumni, so they restructured the college so that everyone must pursue a career in big business. All other programs have been canned, and all of the school’s resources have been concentrated into areas that will help seniors get the most lucrative job options after graduation.

Signs shoot up, carrying shot down

After a long day on the range, it felt good to be heading back to town. I walked up the front steps of Granny’s Boardin’ House only to hear Granny herself screeching at me from the doorway: “Best leave them six-shooters outside, young fella, else you’ll be feelin’ my rolling pin on your hind-quarters!” I pinched myself and realized it was only a daydream. There I was, standing outside the front door of Mellby Hall in front of a forbidding sign that informed me that “ST. OLAF COLLEGE BANS GUNS ON THESE PREMISES.” As I read those words, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had left 21st-century Minnesota and was now in the Wild West, where a man was only as safe as his draw was quick.

Mess Poll
How do you feel about the recent news of a tuition increase?
This is news to me.
I am a senior. Thank god.
I'd feel better about it if a more adequate explanation was provided.
It's routine and expected. What gives?
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