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ISSUE 117 VOL 19 PUBLISHED 5/14/2004

Vernacular brews confusion

By Diana Frantz
Copy Editor

Friday, May 14, 2004

Orange mocha frappuccino: the favorite drink of übermodel Derek Zoolander. Really, what is an orange mocha frappuccino? Like many coffeehouse drinks, the orange mocha frappuccino is a mystery to all but the coolest of the cool. Ordering coffee can be a daunting task for the average Jack or Jill who does not speak the language of the chic coffee consumer. The following is a short guide to the knowledge and language necessary to survive in the jungle that is your local coffee shop. After reading this article, you too will be able to solve the mystery behind the orange mocha frappuccino.

The Basic Brews:

Espresso: One shot of strong flavored coffee served black and in small amounts.

Macchiato: Espresso with a teaspoon of milk. The term is Italian meaning "to stain."

Ristretto: A short shot of espresso. The strongest, most concentrated espresso drink.

Café Americano: Espresso diluted with steamed water.

Cappuccino: Equal amounts of coffee and steamed milk, topped with foam from steamed milk. A mochaccino is a cappuccino with chocolate.

Café Latte: One part espresso to 3 parts milk.

Mocha: Equal parts of espresso and steamed chocolate milk, topped with foam from steamed chocolate milk.


Before ordering, check out the menu to see what kind of sizing the coffeehouse uses. For instance, the Cage here on campus measures coffee by the ounce. Other establishments use the simple terms "small, medium and large." But for those shops that use coffee specific sizing, see the information below. Short: 8 ounces. Some coffeehouses do not offer "Shorts."

Tall: 12 ounces.

Grande: 16 ounces.

Venti: 20 ounces.

Beans and roasts

Derek Zoolander and friends were probably unfamiliar with this information.

Arabica beans: High-end coffee, strong flavor, expensive. Grown at high altitudes.

Robusta beans: Most coffees are made from these beans, which are less flavorful, less aromatic and cheaper than Arabica beans. These are grown at low altitudes.

Roast: Cooking methods used to bring out the richness of the beans.

Medium-Light Roast: Standard American roast commonly used in restaurants. Neither strong nor dark.

Medium-Dark Roast: Stronger flavor and darker color. Example: "Viennese Roast."

Dark Roast: Black in color, very rich flavor. Commonly used to make espresso. Examples: "French" or "Italian" roast.

Decaffeinated: Most of the caffeine has been removed. However, all of the caffeine cannot be removed.

Have you figured out the secret of the orange mocha frappuccino? It is an imaginary drink, since only Starbucks markets frappuccinos and they do not sell an orange mocha variety. If it were real, it would be an iced coffee blend including chocolate and orange-flavored syrup.

Here is how to make one:

1. For those who do not bring an espresso maker to school, use a regular coffee maker. Use 1/3 cup ground coffee and 1 cup of water. Brew once then run coffee through the same grounds again.

Makes about 1/2 cup fresh espresso.

2. Combine 2 cup espresso, 2 cups two percent milk, 2 cup granulated sugar, one tablespoon dry pectin and a pinch of cocoa powder in a pitcher. Stir or shake until sugar dissolves. Stir in finely chopped pieces of orange flavored chocolates. Chill or serve with finely crushed ice.

There is no better cure for bad day blues than an orange mocha frappuccino, and there is not even need to venture out and make use of your newly gained coffeehouse know-how.

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