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ISSUE 118 VOL 6 PUBLISHED 10/22/2004

Sub sandwiches surface, satisfy

By Andrew Kunitz
Contributing Writers

Friday, October 22, 2004

Upon entering Erbert and Gerbert's Subs and Clubs, I get a strong whiff of what else? Sandwiches. The atmosphere is very similar to Subway or Jimmy John's. Bright ceiling lights illuminate the standard Formica countertops and cash registers as well as the vinyl-seated chairs that are the standard at many fast food restaurants.

Strolling in at about 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday, I expected the place to be full. But no, the lone customers were a pair of high school students skulking at a corner table. Since there was no line for the register, the portly sandwich artist waited while I perused the menu on the wall.

All I wanted was a turkey sub on white bread with all the fixin's. But it took me a minute to locate it because the menu items had gibberish for names. Finally, I found what I wanted: The Boney Billy (not Boner Billy as I thought at first glance).

Stepping forward, I smirked and gave my order, not sure if I should have used the ridiculous sandwich surname. Perhaps names like the Jacob Bluefinger (a veggie sub) were just to lighten the mood.

I took the cashier's humorless look to mean that I had made no mistake. The Boney Billy is not a joke.

$4.14 ($3.89 + tax) and about three minutes later I had my sandwich.

Before getting into a discussion of the sandwich itself, I feel I should mention the specialized tape holding the paper around my sandwich. Each sandwich has tape with its name printed (not hand-written) on it.

This gave me confidence that I was indeed holding my own Boney Billy and not about to eat someone else's Pudder (peanut butter and jelly).

The sandwich was just like the one I had the night before at Jimmy John's. Erbert and Gerbert's makes all subs with either wheat or white bread, which is doughier than that of Subway or Quizno's.

The standard Boney Billy fixin's are mayo, tomatoes, lettuce and sprouts but there is variation among the other sandwiches.

My sandwich was well crafted and sturdy. There was no risk of it falling apart in my hands. The ingredients were in the proper proportions and well layered but the taste was lacking. The turkey sub really needs some salt and pepper, olive oil and onions to truly make my taste buds go wild. Nevertheless, I'm not faulting E&G for that: I knew what I was getting into when I ordered my Boney Billy. One of the best aspects of Erbert and Gerbert's has to be its delivery hours. They will deliver whatever you want any time until 1:30 a.m. every day of the week. There is no minimum order but they do have a delivery charge of $0.35 per sandwich. It's not a bad price for lunch, dinner or a late non-pizza snack after an evening of studying and/or iniquity.

Which brings me to my last point: there are no Chinese food delivery places in this area. We have a preponderance of pizza and sandwich establishments that deliver but no Chinese. I can get spaghetti with meatballs delivered at all hours of the night, but no Chinese food any time.

I would eat Chinese at least once a week if it would come to my room. If you feel the same way, start agitating.

Call the Chinese restaurants and demand delivery. If they say no, call again. If enough people make demands and threats, they have to deliver & Right?

And now for the part you've all been waiting for: the official rating. The sandwiches at Erbert and Gerbert's are pretty good, but they aren't anything special. The service was speedy and the staff was polite. They deliver late at night. The price is decent.

So many good things, but I can't see past the gibberish sandwich names. I don't want to order a Bornk when I'm trying to get tuna. I feel silly saying the name, but for some reason I feel obligated to follow procedure under the apathetic stare of the sandwich artists.

Maybe I'm afraid of new things, or maybe I am a little obsessive compulsive, but regardless of the reason, I have to use the menu names for the subs and I have to take away a star for the bad sandwich names. I give two out of four stars to Erbert and Gerbert's.

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