Frankly, its not that top 100 lists are bad in concept. Rather its that they are extremely passé, cliché and downright annoying. Writers of such lists ought to realize that, in our minds, we have a predetermined set of favorite lists. We know our favorite people and places. We know our favorite movies and songs. We know what it means when we have to chose between a favorite and a less loved object: we always go with the fave. Since all of us have our favorites already, it is completely unnecessary to read someone elses top 100 whatever.
I knew the madness had gone too far when, using Google, I came across a website that listed someones top 100 top 100 lists.
This was too much for me. I began to wonder whether, at some point, someone will compile a list of their top 100 lists rating top 100 lists that rank top 100 lists. I logged off of my computer and drank myself to sleep at the thought.
Heres another example negating the legitimacy of the entire concept of top 100 lists. Now, I know for a fact that Top Gun is easily the greatest movie ever made in America, or for that matter, North America, or the world. But everywhere, everywhere, that damned, black and white, Citizen Boring is listed as number one.
Now, you look me in the eyes and tell me with a straight face that a washed-up old man mumbling about a sled can hold one single solitary candle to Ace, Ice, Goose and the rest of the gang. That geezer cant, and if you dont agree with me, youre going to find yourself at the top of another list:
The 100 Stupidest People: 1. You. 2. The president. Et cetera
But now that I think of it, there is at least one good use for a top 100 list. I can list the top 100 reasons I shouldnt be doing something, such as writing this article. Then again, if I can come up with 100 reasons not to write this article, it probably isnt worth attempting in the first place. I could save your time and mine, dear reader, by stopping right now and doing something that I know is worthwhile, like checking my wing for ice and dreaming about Katie and the baby.
Never leave your wingman, especially not for anything relating to a top 100 list.
Staff writer Jeremy Schowalter is a senior from Racine, Wis. He majors in political science.