When I read older books stating that Moses or Mr. Darcy ejaculated, I take a minute, dropping my jaw and popping my eyes before I can remember the more archaic meaning of the word. Much to my chagrin, I eventually come to my senses and realize that Moses, was not, in fact, reaching sexual climax while talking to God. Hmph. He was simply shooting out his thoughts. Not quite as exciting, but a bit more tailored to a wholesome context. That said, the modern encounter with "ejaculation" usually generates shock.
In its long-standing tradition of surprise, the word harbors another meaning that is generally hidden from the unsuspecting Lutheran masses. Many folks at St. Olaf have no idea that the word has taken on the onus of not one, not two, but THREE (count 'em! THREE!) spectacular meanings! And this third and final installment in the dazzling saga of "ejaculation" meanings is possibly the grandest and the least understood of all three: the phenomenon of female ejaculation.
FEMALE ejaculation?! Yes. That's ejaculation without a penis, Kyle. For cryin' in the corn, wouldn't it be empowering for women if they could shoot their sexual discharges all over their partners? Yes, it would be. And yes, they actually do.
Of course, female ejaculation, like male ejaculation, rarely employs the firepower of Shamu's blowhole. Vaginas can certainly shoot all over, but they never quite generate the indiscriminate spray of Dick Cheney on a hunting spree. Pornography depicting such explosive acts is misleading; it portrays women urinating rather than ejaculating, as urination can follow a larger and more impressive ballistic trajectory than female ejaculate.
Because of this association with golden showers - the act of urination during sex - many people have been skeptical of an extant female ejaculate. Yet scientific studies have found this ejaculate to be an alkaline fluid, similar to that produced by the male prostate, made of glucose and an enzyme called prostatic acid phosphatase.
The mixture emitted can be either clear or milky, and can contain various amounts of urine. It originates in Skenes' glands, a set of structures located in the spongy tissue, or paraurethral structures, around the female urethra, in the nebulous "G-Spot." From there, it spews out into the urethral ducts before making its ultimate entrance into the world.
While many women do not believe they have ejaculated during sex, research has indicated that this alkaline fluid of glucose and prostatic acid phosphatase has been released in some quantity during most sexual activities. It may not escape as a visible geyser, but it usually does seep out into the vagina in some degree. Old Faithful is usually gushing, but sometimes squirts more like a leaky faucet than a fire hose.
In order to produce a female ejaculation, the stimulation of the G-spot is sometimes, but not always necessary. To locate this G-spot, you need to wait for arousal. Get real cozy with the clitoris before trying to meet her friends. Once a good level of arousal has been achieved, look around the urethra (for the vagina illiterate, it's between the vaginal opening and the clitoris).
The G-spot, while in slightly different places for different women, is a highly sensitive area of tissue in the paraurethral structures, or structures around the urethra. If you can find this highly sensitive area, just go for the gold. Stimulate it with fingers, dildos, penises, vibrators or whatever else you can get away with using - just use lots of lube.
But before you go about trying to ejaculate, take a few precautions. Drink plenty of water and remember to pee (before and after stimulation). Be careful while intentionally stimulating the urethra and the G-spot - don't overdo it if it hurts or feels too intense to handle. The vagina is more easily infected or irritated with urethral stimulation than during acts like intercourse. Above all else, don't get your only advice on female ejaculation from a gay male. Read up on it or talk to a woman who has done it before you give it a try.
Once you're all stimulated and ready to go, you'll feel like you have to pee. That's good. If you're stimulated enough, it won't be pee. Either way, just let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.
Any questions? Contact firstname.lastname@example.org.